Excuses

Why is it so hard to stay motivated, and so, so easy to make excuses? You know, I've been avoiding posting on this blog because I completely fell off the Healthy Lifestyle Wagon. I felt embarrassed, guilty, depressed. I could give a dozen excuses as to why I gained back the weight I'd managed to lose last year... Jeff's been out west working, I couldn't go to the gym because I didn't have anyone to watch the kids (ok, that one's legitimate, but doesn't excuse my total lack of exercise I could be fitting in at home), I'm exhausted from taking care of the house and kids by myself, homeschooling and babysitting. I've been too lazy to cook healthy meals (yeah, not a good excuse, but at least it's honest!). And so on, and so forth.

I should have been using this blog as a place to vent about those things and to try and motivate myself to keep going even in the face of difficulties. Instead I avoided it. Maybe this time, I can change that. Maybe I need a goal to work towards? Well, Jeff is coming home sometime around the end of June, and we're planning a vacation to Florida with the kids. Sure would be nice to feel not-completely-self-conscious in a bathing suit at the beach/water parks.

NutriSystem Day 1

My NutriSystem food arrived yesterday! I was so excited to see the big box sitting on the porch when I came home. I started the program this morning, and so far, after two meals, the food has been pretty good. I had apple cinnamon oatmeal for breakfast, which tastes almost exactly like the Quaker instant oatmeal only less sugary. For lunch I had Pasta Parmesan, which I beefed up with some steamed broccoli and it wasn't bad. I'm surprising myself with how easily I'm incorporating the required veggies so far, since I've never been a big veggie eater.

My new food today: Greek Yogurt. I'm still undecided as to whether I actually like it, the texture's a bit thicker than I expect for yogurt, and it's weirdly tangy. I'll give it another shot, though!

Fed Up!

I knew I'd lost my motivation. Fallen off the wagon. Jeff's away working out west and I haven't been eating well. Between lack of regular child care (aka Jeff being home, LOL) and the cost of the gym child care (when it wasn't already full by the time I got there with my 3 kids), I ended up never being able to go, and cancelled my membership to avoid wasting the money. What did that amount to? Clothes started being a little tighter. My old jeans were worn out and I had to break down and buy another pair of size 18's. Meanwhile the size 16's I was thisclose to fitting into are still sitting in the drawer. All of this, and I still was feeling lazy and unmotivated and depressed about my weight. I pointedly avoided the scale.

Last week, I finally got up the courage to step back on it, and staring me right in the face was the dreaded number: 200. I'd allowed myself to get back to 200lbs, a place I swore I'd never see again after finally kicking it to the curb last year :( There's just something extra depressing seeing that number start with a 2 instead of a 1.

I knew I needed something that would help keep me motivated, and after looking into a bunch of different diet plans I decided I'm going to try out Nutrisystem. By putting a portion of my weekly grocery budget aside, I'm able to pay for it easily, and they have a great online message board. There's also an active group of Nutrisystem users at 3 Fat Chicks, which I've found to be a great motivation in the past.

As for the exercise, I've downloaded copies of videos of several of my favourite gym classes so that I can do them here at home.

Good News and Bad News

I seem to have trouble finding (making?) the time to update this blog. I really need to work on that, because it does help keep my accountable, so it's definitely worth taking the time to do. I do have good news, and bad news, as well as some pretty middle-of-the-road news to share. The boring news is that I haven't lost any weight since my last update... but I haven't gained any, either. I figure the two more or less cancel each other out, right? *sigh*

The bad news is that Jeff is leaving next week to go back out west for work. Besides missing him like crazy, and taking on all the responsibility with the household and kids, it means that my gym time will be seriously restricted due to child care constraints. My mother-in-law will watch them a couple times a week, which will help, though.

The good news (just about the only good news about him going away to work) is that the extra money makes it so much easier to eat fresh, healthy foods. Hopefully I can find a good balance between the eating and the exercise and actually make some headway on this weight loss!